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Here I go, Again!

I can't believe this year, 2023, is almost over. I'm sitting here at my laptop wondering what have I actually accomplished this year. In my opinion, not much at all. Here I go, again! I have let another year slip by and I haven't completed a single small goal.

You may be thinking, "But you have your own cake business". True. However, I haven't been as successful at it as I would have hoped to be by this time.

Allow me to be a little transparent with you all. Depression, That's what consumed me this year. Since my mom passed away last February, I have been fighting to find myself again. And when I realized that I am now a 50 year old orphan, what was left of me, shattered.

I began to seek God's presence more than I ever had before. Reading, meditating on His word daily, and being silent before Him, had become my new obsessions. This new found deeper relationship with my heavenly Father saved me from losing my mind, literally.

So, yeah, here I go, again. Trying to climb my way back out of the emotional dark cave of my pain. I have to fight to survive in a whole that isn't always kind.

I no longer have my protectors, nurturers, disciplinarians who were, my parents. But I'm not completely alone! I feel God with me more than ever. His Holy Spirit lives rent free inside of me. I hear Him telling me, "Keep going. Keep fighting. I'm here and I will never leave you."

Here I am, again. Trusting the process while trusting God.

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